I thought long and hard about what I wanted to talk about in this blog post, and it took me awhile to admit to myself that I wanted to write about loneliness. Now, I'm not talking about describing loneliness because we all know what it feels like in some way, shape, or form. I'm talking about how to survive loneliness. Because inevitably, you're going to have a night when things get rough and you feel all alone and it's tough to get through those nights. It's a process, and I'm still learning, but I've come a long way and I'd like to share with y'all how to get through those times. I had to figure it out for myself, but by sharing this, maybe you don't have to go through it alone.
Admittedly, this all sounds pretty dramatic. But last night for me was one of those nights where I had nothing to do, nowhere to be, and that made my skin crawl. I know most people LIVE for the nights where they get time off and can just veg in bed with some Netflix and ice cream. But me? I work so much that I hardly have time to hang out with friends, and Friday nights are the one night I have off to really just chill with my friends and have fun. I truly hate being alone and in the past, it has caused me to become depressed and I went to a really bad place in my life.
Sometimes, even if you KNOW people are there for you, you can still feel terribly alone, and that's okay. Being alone is okay. Not having someone right beside you at every moment is okay. People ARE there for you, even if you think they aren't.
It took me years to realize it's okay to feel alone. Last night was one of the first nights I spent by myself and didn't cry (real talk time). Over time though, I've picked up quite a few tricks on how to spend a night alone without feeling lonely.
Step 1: Take a shower. The thought of spending Friday night in when you're getting hundreds of snapchats from friends at massive parties and concerts can be a little daunting. I've found taking a hot shower (for a good 30 minutes) can calm you down and relax you for a night of restorative activities.
Step 2: Make food! And I don't mean put a frozen something in the microwave or make some popcorn to eat with your fudge sundae. I mean cook something new and kinda fancy. Spend an hour or more. Practice a cooking skill you've never used before. Last night, I made myself lemon basil chickpeas and then baked cinnamon apples with peanut butter and they were fabulous. It's really easy to fall into a groove of eating the same old thing over and over again because that's what you know and are comfortable with. But eating the same thing over and over again can decrease your mood (unless it's mac and cheese because I could probably eat that every day till I die). Trying something new is a challenge and forces you to concentrate on the task at hand, rather than the fact that you're at home alone. Plus, the end result is some new fantastic food that you can eat while watching YouTube or Netflix!
Step 3: Don't watch Netflix all night. That's literally the worst thing you could do. I've done it before, and by the time I want to go to sleep I've wallowed myself into a pit of misery (not even joking). Watch a movie (I recommend Disney) but then allow yourself time to unplug. Use your laptop for music if you need the noise in your home. But do something else that's productive.
Step 4: Speaking of productive.....do something active! I never have time during the week to exercise (except that now I may be starting to attend November Project, stay tuned for that...) so Friday nights spent alone in my apartment are a great time for me to work out. I'm personally a fan of yoga because it's strengthening in addition to being spiritually healing. But then, as a dancer, I like to work through my muscles by doing simple ballet stretches and strengthening exercises. And then, as a bit of fun, I usually dance around my apartment to something super upbeat (Taylor Swift's Shake It Off comes to mind) because there's only so much "calming and relaxation" I can tolerate until I need to really get moving and pick up the tempo a bit.
Step 5: Clean. This sounds totally horrible, I know, I know. But it's one of the most therapeutic things I can think of. It's also incredibly productive, because we all know your apartment's not getting cleaned any other day of the week. Again, I like to have music blasting and sing along at the top of my lungs while cleaning (sorry apartments 518 and 514...).
Step 5: Sleep. If you're in college, I KNOW you don't get to sleep before midnight any night of the week. If you do, I may or may not hate you. (Jk, but really...? Teach me your ways.) This is your one night to get a full night's sleep and actually feel rested when you wake up in the morning! Get in bed early, write in a journal, get those last stressful thoughts out of the way, and then fall asleep knowing you're not alone and you had a relaxing night to yourself.
You might be wondering why I decided to write this kind of blog post. Honestly, this blog post was very much for me. I originally wanted this blog to be a way to keep a journal because I was never able to write things down on paper and I had hoped that by putting it on social media, a platform I love, it would motivate me to write. These past few weeks have been stressful, and yesterday was a small victory for me. Writing all this down *may* serve to help someone reading out there who goes through this as well, but in all actuality, I'm writing it down to prove I made progress. To be able to look back on it and say "You used to feel so alone, but now you're okay with it. You're strong enough to get through the negative feelings."
For those of you who read this far, thanks for putting up with my emotional blog post! As a little side note to end this post, ya girl overcame another challenge this week and asked someone out! I was my usual awkward self, but hey; he said yes so maybe I'm not all that odd? At any rate, wish me luck. It'd be incredibly awesome if I didn't dump a glass of water on myself this time, or trip over my chair. Yes. Actual things that have happened.
Hope your three day weekend continues to be fantastic, and remember, you're never alone.
Until next time, love y'all, bye!
.JPG)
No comments:
Post a Comment